Friday, May 8, 2009

My Blog Family

Sometimes as I'm reading the collection of blogs that I frequent I can't help but get the feeling that we are all just one big family. No not the kind with crooked DNA, but more of just a regular, run of the mill dysfunctional family. So, in honor of this very random train of thought I have put together who in this hypothetical dysfunctional family you represent to me.

Shirley - Matriarch. Grandmother. Yours is the first blog I can ever remember reading, then afterwards feeling that I must post a response. Yes, I'm blaming you for this addiction. You are the Grandmother of my blogging family. Your words always seem thoughtful and wise. I have never seen a harsh word flow from your fingertips.

Helen - The Aunt who used to be normal, but moved off to Berkley and drank the cool-aid. Whenever she comes over for Sunday dinner you are sure to get a lecture on why the spoon is keeping the black man down. Sure her views seem a little wacky, but she has a great sense of humor and never fails to make me chuckle.

Mookie - Ah Mookie, The middle child. Always attempting to stir up the pot. Loves to get the tempers flaring and then sits back, sips his ginger ale, and marvels at the master piece he has created.

RGuy - Cousin, but much older. Nobody in the family knows how but RGuy is much more refined that the rest of us. He enjoys the finer things of life. For some reason he wears a sports jacket to the family dinner when everyone else is in flip flops and wife beaters. That doesn't mean however that he doesn't have his redneck vice. Pro wrestling.

Scott Erb - Older Brother. Always the most accomplished of the brothers Scott is intrigued by mystery. He investigates even mundane daily activities with the same Joe Friday flare for "just the facts ma'am". He always has the answer and if he doesn't, he'll make it up. Don't worry, he'll use enough "big" words that you'll simply take what he says at face value. After all he's always been smarter than you.

Jesurgislac - Step-parent. Because I will not agree with anything you say even if it sounds like something that would have come out of my own mouth. I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of having agreed with me. Sure, we kids act like we can't stand you, but in the end we are glad to have you around.

Godfather - Brother. Actually we don't hear from you that much anymore accept for a post card now and again from strange places on the planet. After all when you joined the motorcycle gang it just didn't seem right to bring the girl on the back home to meet mom.

American Elephant - Uncle. But more importantly, insurance salesman. You never miss a chance to tell us the value of a whole life insurance policy. I mean after all isn't protecting those you care about the most important thing to us all. And I can hook you up with a great deal.

We all get together for family meals and yes there may be a food fight or two, (likely to have been started by the Godfather), but we are all glad to be there and wouldn't want it any other way.

I'm sure I forgot some of our family. So feel free to add them, make corrections, and if you must include me as well. Thanks for being a good sport. I hope no one is offended, but even if you are... it's okay... we're family.


Mookie said...

So, I'm the middle child huh?
Stirring up the pot? (I can clearly see this not happening a lot)

Very interesting coming from an actual middle child.

Hey SCOTT???

You wanna come over here, being the smarter older brother, and run some psychoanalytical stuff and see if he's just projecting on me??

I would, but you're better at it than I am, and I'll be too busy stealing the brand name cereal and replacing it with generic stuff in case Godfather comes back for a visit!

DeadMule said...

Well Jay, I'm cool with the whole deal as long as I'm NOT the Aunt who get paired up with AE. LOL

Anonymous said...

Pro wrestling? That's funny.

Other than that, you pegged me pretty well, I think.

If I'm the cousin, does that make me Helen's son? Or American Elephant's?

Very clever post. Bravo!

All In said...

Thanks Rguy. I enjoyed writing it. It was a toss up between pro-wrestling and monster truck rallies.

Anonymous said...

I still don't know what to think about being compared to a life insurance salesman. I hope I'm not that doom and gloomy.

All In said...

Awww. AE. The point was that you are always on topic. We never see you stray into the realm of your personal life. Rarely is there a post talking about how you got mad a the cashier went home and kicked the dog. Nope. Not you. Always on point.